Never Listen to Blondes
by Liari
Summary: AU Oneshot. Mina drags Ami into an interesting situation...based on real life events that I NEVER EVER want to go through again.


_A/N- And to even out the depressing nature of the previous piece, here's a nice little fluff of funny that was written hastily after my own experience. And yes, a whole lot of this is true. Unfortunately for me. _

"No."

"Please?"

"I said no."

"Oh, come on!"

"Mina…"

"Oh, Ames, please, it will be so much fun, and I don't want to go all by myself, if it's too bad I promise I'll take you out for a drink afterwards, okay? But please, please, please, please go with me! It'll be great, you'll see! Maybe you'll even meet a really great guy that you'll want to get to know better!"

"When I say no, I mean no!"

Ami sighed as she stared out the car window, watching the lights go past while wondering how on earth Mina got her into the vehicle. She snuck a quick glare across the seat at Mina's profile, but the sprightly little pixie was nattering on happily oblivious to any venomous looks on Ami's part. The blue-haired female returned to her former surveillance, using the time in the car to prepare herself for the debacle that was sure to follow. As she resigned herself, the small, white Toyota Tercel pulled into the Indian restaurant's parking lot.

Ami sighed again, but went along as Mina dragged her out of the car and up the steps of the restaurant where said speed dating was being held. Mina opened the door and pranced in, hauling Ami behind her, who winced at the strong aroma of curry and spices. The energetic blonde was still chattering about what a super time it was going to be while they made their way up to the bar to check in, heedless of Ami's multiple speaking glances that so elegantly said how much she wanted to be anywhere else.

Ami took one look around and nearly choked. Mina had stopped dead in her tracks as she saw the gathering before them, all seated neatly at two tables. Ami was doing all in her power not to burst into laughter as she looked at Mina's expression and the males at the table.

There were four males at one table, and fifteen females at the other. The females didn't interest Ami as much as the males did, and so she focused her attention on the four forms.

First was a man of about middle age, with a nametag that said "Hi! My name is Harold" and a suit that had definitely seen better times. Its pattern of puke green and neon orange brought to mind images of friends who had drunk too much, and then spilled Tang over the resulting mess. He had attempted to tame what hair he had into what Ami supposed he thought of as a rakish style, but which reminded her of the time Luna had tangled with Usagi's hair clippers. His eyes, of a muddy green, bugged out from his head as he surveyed the woman at the other table hungrily, making several of them flinch.

The figure across from Harold wasn't much better; indeed, perhaps worse, since at least Harold had a decent idea of personal hygiene, if not fashion. This individual appeared to think that sanitation was a choice, not a necessity, which was confirmed by the whiff of spoiled meat, rancid milk, and High Karate that drifted over when he shifted in his seat. His nametag was rather unreadable, as the scrawl that was assumably his name was smudged and rendered illegible by the grease and other unnamable substances that decorated it. His massive amount of hair was slicked to his head, giving him the appearance of having a smushed skunk on his skull. Ami looked at the third body quickly, not trusting her stomach to stay put if she contemplated _that _male any longer.

The third guy was not quite as tacky or revolting as the others, but was eyeing her and Mina in a way that made Ami feel altogether slimy. His fingers twitched as he gazed at her, and Ami had the sudden urge to smack him in-between his squinty little eyes. He started making obscene faces at her as she stood there, and she made a moue of disgust.

The last chap to come under scrutiny was a twenty-something who looked distinctly nervous and fidgety. He was relatively good-looking, with a well-muscled body and a pleasantly tan tint to his skin. Ami considered him, smiling at the way he kept fiddling with his nametag, which proclaimed him to be "David." Several of the women at the other table were already making doe-eyes at him, and the sleazeball next to him was elbowing him as if to say "Wasn't this a good idea I had?" Ami stifled the snicker before it became audible.

Mina had finally come out of her shock , and turned to Ami, whispering in apologetic horror, "Umm, so, what do you say we just skip the whole speed dating thing and I just get you that drink I promised?"

Ami smiled and nodded hastily, saying, "Sounds like a plan to me."

Mina grinned, bouncing back as they left the restaurant, declaring, "Awesome! I know this great bar…"


End file.
